Squalor Victoria

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I'm Brooke.
Student. Pianist. Agnostic. Feminist. Music, film and literature enthusiast. Massive fan of The National, Interpol, and Dry the River.
I posted a very similar post on my instagram just a little bit ago, but since this is tumblr, I want to get a bit more blunt and personal than I feel I can on instagram. The picture of me with long hair was taken at a very bad time in my life where my eating disorder was at a peak, my health was anything but at a peak, and my hair was damaged, dry, and falling out. About a year ago, I made the decision that I could not mentally or physically handle having long hair. Between having to constantly unclog my shower drain of dead hair and watching clumps of it come out when running a brush through it, I was traumatized and sick in a whole different way and I wanted no part of it anymore. But most of all, cutting my hair was proving to myself that I was not thirteen anymore. I was no longer in middle school. I was no longer in an abusive relationship. I was no longer constantly being told how I needed to look by some guy, and most of all, I was no longer being told to hide underneath all of my hair by anyone but myself. That’s what was so liberating about this whole experience and the main reason I’m posting about it right now. It wasn’t until this past December that I actually went shorter than shoulder length and after doing so, I realized that I could still live my life with short hair and not be dehumanized by the people I encountered in my day to day life. Over the past two days I decided to go shorter than I’ve ever gone before and I feel beyond wonderful. My hair is still not completely healthy, my mind is not completely repaired, my body is still not ready to function in the best way it can, but I’m starting to feel like myself again. I’m taking the person I see myself as in my head and putting her into action . I’m learning to be happy in the way that I want to be. I know transformation Tuesday isn’t much of a thing on tumblr, but I’d just like to take today to celebrate that I’m still alive and that I’m able to move on with my life and I sincerely, with all my heart hope that you can do the same for yourself.

I posted a very similar post on my instagram just a little bit ago, but since this is tumblr, I want to get a bit more blunt and personal than I feel I can on instagram. The picture of me with long hair was taken at a very bad time in my life where my eating disorder was at a peak, my health was anything but at a peak, and my hair was damaged, dry, and falling out. About a year ago, I made the decision that I could not mentally or physically handle having long hair. Between having to constantly unclog my shower drain of dead hair and watching clumps of it come out when running a brush through it, I was traumatized and sick in a whole different way and I wanted no part of it anymore. But most of all, cutting my hair was proving to myself that I was not thirteen anymore. I was no longer in middle school. I was no longer in an abusive relationship. I was no longer constantly being told how I needed to look by some guy, and most of all, I was no longer being told to hide underneath all of my hair by anyone but myself. That’s what was so liberating about this whole experience and the main reason I’m posting about it right now. It wasn’t until this past December that I actually went shorter than shoulder length and after doing so, I realized that I could still live my life with short hair and not be dehumanized by the people I encountered in my day to day life. Over the past two days I decided to go shorter than I’ve ever gone before and I feel beyond wonderful. My hair is still not completely healthy, my mind is not completely repaired, my body is still not ready to function in the best way it can, but I’m starting to feel like myself again. I’m taking the person I see myself as in my head and putting her into action . I’m learning to be happy in the way that I want to be. I know transformation Tuesday isn’t much of a thing on tumblr, but I’d just like to take today to celebrate that I’m still alive and that I’m able to move on with my life and I sincerely, with all my heart hope that you can do the same for yourself.



24 notes
  1. insertsonglyrichere said: I seriously have a lot of respect for you Brooke. You rock.
  2. an-awkward-person said: *standing ovation* YOU GO GURRRRL
  3. exactlywhatiwanted said: Congrats keep it up. :) You’re an incredible person with good things waiting to happen for you.
  4. yellowmoons said: I LOVE YOU SO MUCH
  5. amandalmcc23 said: You’re beautiful <3
  6. heirstotheglimmeringworlds said: Great to hear you are on the mend x
  7. souvlaky said: i lov u so so much am im so proud of u omg !!!!!
  8. idyllic-lull said: You are so brave.
  9. brookeklebe posted this